BLOG: Regarding the Girl Who Dated the Magic: The Gathering Champion and Was a Bitch About It
A few of you have asked for my thoughts regarding Monday’s Gizmodo story that went a little something like this:
Gizmodo intern Alyssa Bereznak signed up for OKCupid one night while drunk. Fighting through the messages from misogynistic assholes on a daily basis, she finally received one from a seemingly normal individual, Jon Finkel. During their first date, Jon reveals that he is a World Champion Magic: The Gathering player. The following is an excerpt from the Gizmodo article — that is, if one chooses to call something that is unfairly biased, incomplete, and poorly written an “article.”:
“At dinner I got straight down to it. Did he still play? "Yes." Strike one. How often? "I'm preparing for a tournament this weekend." Strike two. Who did he hang out with? "I've met all my best friends through Magic." Strike three. I smiled and nodded and listened. Eventually I even felt a little bit bad that I didn't know shit about the game. Here was a guy who had dedicated a good chunk of his life to mastering Magic, on a date with a girl who can barely play Solitaire. This is what happens, I thought, when you leave things out of your online profile.”
The reason I will not link to the actual post on Gizmodo is because this stupid piece of written garbage does not, for the love of God, need more page views. Linking to this article is feeding the trolls. Alyssa is a troll. The image of her getting rewarded by Gawker for getting over 700k page views for one of the worst columns ever published on the site tempts my stomach to cover my Macbook in projectile spaghetti vomit. And now you all know what I ate for lunch.
The biggest problem above all problems with Alyssa’s column is simply that it was not funny.
I mean, come on. If she would have turned the entire situation into a lovable humor article, everyone, including Jon, could have had a great laugh and all would have basically been forgiven.
But no.
She decided to go the complete opposite direction: Bitter, mean, almost vitriolic in her distaste for Magic: The Gathering.
I judge writers based on the tone of their content. Alyssa obviously wasn’t going for humor, so she gets no pass. We are left to assume she is serious.
This brings us to the second biggest problem with her column, which happens to be the real problem: She hated without reason.
People on the Internet are hateful. I am hateful. I hate almost everything around me that isn't chocolate and I often write about it on any given day of the week. However, the difference between Lisa Foiles and Alyssa Bereznak is that I refer to myself in third person at least give reasons for hating things. Some of my reasons are legit, some of them are completely out of left field that I’m sure make no sense to anyone who is not me. But at least I HAVE reasons. I explain my hate, people either agree or shake their heads, and we all move on.
Alyssa admits she knows nothing about MTG, yet she jumps to this immediate conclusion that, despite Jon being a fairly normal human being during all other parts of the date, he must be a mouth-breathing, basement-dwelling nerd, holding back a lisp and smuggling inhalers in each deodorant-free armpit. (SEE? THAT’S FUNNY. ALYSSA SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT.)
Examining the excerpt I included at the beginning of this blog, which is not an article on a major website, meaning I can be much more lenient about expressing my opinions, we can pinpoint Alyssa’s retardation:
“At dinner I got straight down to it. Did he still play? "Yes." Strike one. How often? "I'm preparing for a tournament this weekend." Strike two. Who did he hang out with? "I've met all my best friends through Magic." Strike three.”
She goes on:
“Eventually I even felt a little bit bad that I didn't know shit about the game.”
Hey Alyssa, if you don’t know shit about the game, why are you outright condemning him for playing it? Why is it a “Strike” that one of his pastimes involves an activity about which you are ignorant? What if he would have said “Ornamental Horticulture.” Surely you don’t know shit about ornamental horticulture – so would saying THAT have gotten him a “Strike,” too?
She goes on:
“This is what happens, I thought, when you leave things out of your online profile.”
Hey Alyssa, this whole situation is what happens when you leave the phrase “I might post the details of our date for the entire Internet to read” out of YOUR profile.
She just doesn't make it clear: Is she angry about him being a MTG player? (Clearly, yes.) Or is she mad about his OKCupid profile not disclosing this info? What is the actual POINT of her hateful ramblings here? In fact, to confuse us even more about what this column was really about, she tweeted this backpedaling statement:
@alyssabereznak: dudes, i don't think it's bad to be a dweeb. i just dont want to date someone i can't relate to. not an attack. more a cautionary tale.
So... you're saying the column was just... dating advice? On Gizmodo? Does this give me permission to post a column about swiss cheese consistency on Kotaku?
The fact that Gizmodo even gave Alyssa the time of day in the first place is an insult to all other Gawker writers, including myself. She hated without reason on not one nerd, but all nerds. And guess what? Nerds run the Internet.
Jon, I'm so sorry the date you assumed to be private was made public.
Alyssa, go cry about these things to your gal pals at a manicure date instead of infecting our browsers with disjointed dribble.
And Giz, shame on you for posting the column in the first place.
Cool Posts for Sexy People
- Save Point Review: Jazzpunk
- Nick’s Friday Round-Up
- Nick’s Friday Round-Up
- Nick’s Friday Round-Up
- Nick’s Friday Round-Up
Sites We Love
Links
August 31st, 2011 - 00:11
I smell response piece.
Go GAWKER Go!
August 31st, 2011 - 00:12
I should OkCupid search for web interns with dreams of journalistic integrity. Then write about it.
August 31st, 2011 - 00:13
The “cautionary tale” there would be… basically standing within fifteen feet of me.
August 31st, 2011 - 00:15
And she hates on his game fascination with baseball terminology. Strike four!
August 31st, 2011 - 00:52
HA!
August 31st, 2011 - 00:44
I hope Gawker doesn’t get crankypantsface at me.
<_>
>_>
^_^
August 31st, 2011 - 10:20
I hope so too.
August 31st, 2011 - 15:55
I hope so too.
Also, you need to devote an entire article to ranting and raving (let's be honest here, as if you don't do this already) but include more mocked up MTG cards, or other nerd-culture references. Genius.
August 31st, 2011 - 02:44
Best response to this whole thing that I’ve read. Well said Lisa
August 31st, 2011 - 03:07
Here I was thinking the days of geek hating was over. When will everyone realize they want to be a geek? Come on all fantasy football needs is a twelve sided dice, and you’ve got an rpg.
If ignorance is bliss, why do ignorant people annoy me so?
August 31st, 2011 - 03:41
If your next Kotaku column isn’t about swiss cheese consistency, I will be disappoint.
August 31st, 2011 - 10:20
I second this notion.
August 31st, 2011 - 21:55
Third!
September 3rd, 2011 - 08:15
I forth this!
This is exactly what the internet needs, MORE CHEESE!!!!!! Edam-ed if it isn’t
August 31st, 2011 - 04:16
Gawker has some serious idiots writing for them (NOT YOU LISA). Back in July, some boneheaded Kotaku writer (Again, not you) posted an article which pretty much gave e-sports and pro gaming the middle finger.
Here’s a Pastebin of the article as to not give them pageviews: http://pastebin.com/c2CKLQ47
Jen Shitller (not a typo) basically posted a rant about the apparent ‘downturn’ of pro gaming, something she clearly doesn’t know shit about, nor enjoys watching as she states herself.
Here’s an analysis by a member of the community: http://i.minus.com/ibpmVE.png
Now I don’t know how much e-sports action you follow, but as someone who regularly watches StarCraft 2 player streams and MLG events, I can say with absolute certainty that e-sports is stronger than ever. The first season of the NASL (North American Star League) drew amass of 85,000+ viewers and the recent MLGs have broken viewership records. It has never been easier to tune into e-sports.
I followed the ‘scandal’ on reddit and there was retaliation not only from the hivemind but pretty much the entire community. There were counter articles from PCGamer, sixjax Gaming and others. Something similar seems to be happening now with Alyssa Bitchfit. Jon in fact posted an IAmA on reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jz3u7/iama_jon_finkel_ask_me_anything/
With Alyssa’s rant, I’m actually starting to think Gawker will do anything for bloody pageviews, including publishing utter troll garbage no better than YouTube comments by a 14-year old Call of Duty fanboy. I personally don’t follow any of Gawker’s sites and these articles are not encouraging. Unfortunately, this ‘nerd-baiting’ strategy does work and does leave the trolls with their wallets loaded.
Personally, I like honest blogs and honest people that do stuff because they want to and because it’s their passion; not because there are a couple of Benjamins waiting for them once they sell their soul. People like the guys that made Nuka Break, like Felicia Day, like Save Point.
No offence to anyone who regularly reads/writes for Gawker. This is just my personal opinion and you’re welcome to disagree.
August 31st, 2011 - 04:30
Her face is asymetrical like a Picaso. She should be happy she had someone interested in her enough to take her out for lunch. It just goes to show that sometimes the you can judge a book by the cover, ie she’s got a black soul.
Its hard enough to go dating let alone to have someone decide to make fun of your hobby in a public column. Time to send an email to Okcupid to ask them about their use and if journalists can use the site for negative feedback on their users.
August 31st, 2011 - 11:16
Agreed. Completely. I really hope other nerds on OKCupid didn’t just deleted their accounts. Blind dating is always a huge risk and can make even the most secure people feel nervous and uncomfortable. I can’t even imagine going out with a guy who the next day posted on a huge website “I Dated Some Stupid Video Game Girl Who Thinks She’s Funny.” Wow. I would cry. Haha.
August 31st, 2011 - 22:11
‘Cept that person would probably be black listed even worse than Alyssa.
August 31st, 2011 - 06:35
tl;dr… except for the first part. Mostly because I need to leave this hotel to continue my cross-country road trip. However, my question to you is, was this spaghetti the same type of spaghetti you ate a couple nights ago, with the salsa, and, was it delicious?
August 31st, 2011 - 07:02
What a horrible thing to write! But this also raises the reasons why we (gamers and nerds alike) hide who we are.
Girls (or guys if you are the rare gamer girl type) can be really judgemental about those sort of things. I play WoW for instance. But I also enjoy the beach, drinking with mates, I have a full time job, another part time job and I am studying to be a pilot. There is a lot more to people than just their hobbies, yet I will not tell a girl (who is not a gamer) that I play WoW until she gets to know me a lot more simply because of the stigma surrounding it.
And she wonders why he did not put his achievement on his profile…
August 31st, 2011 - 11:20
Gaming used to be considered UBER nerdy… like, what, ten years ago? Look how far we’ve come. Games are cool. Any girl who doesn’t understand that isn’t worth the gamer’s time in the first place. Let her go shopping and watch her shows on the CW and you can, I don’t know, go to an underwater city and shoot things with lightning.
August 31st, 2011 - 17:14
That point may be true but I for myself experience that it’s still pretty difficult to find a girl that’s really ok with this hobby. I don’t look like the nerd stereotype (5 foot 12, 136 pounds, clear skin, bright eyesight xD) but whenever I encounter a girl and mention gaming……I’m immediately moved to the “friend-zone”….the tolerance of gaming has come a long way and you can finally move around the streets without being seen as an outcast if you “out” yourself…but girl-related it’s still a difference-maker for the worse from my experience.
September 1st, 2011 - 07:44
I got problem telling a girl I play games. Just not WoW. Which is more or less the equivilent of crack for gamers hahaha. The stigma is still there.
Shooting things with lightning is definitely win though…
August 31st, 2011 - 12:46
The definition of nerd has changed, but sadly the stereotype still remains along the lines of “socially awkward person who may have hygiene issues and dwells in the basement”, which we know is far from the truth.
Interestingly enough though, Arstechnica did a survey which revealed that two-thirds of online gamers are girls.
I guess they hide from the other ‘gamer nerd’ stereotype which states that we’re all “virgin teenage douchebags” so they don’t have to deal with the “TITS OR GTFO” and “SHOW ME YOUR BOBBIES” bullshit? xD
PS. To whoever is moderating my comments, i’m sorry that I’m trigger happy with my keyboard today :P
August 31st, 2011 - 08:46
Find this bitches home address Lisa, then we can all take it in turns to send her a packet of MTG cards, daily!
August 31st, 2011 - 10:02
I wondered if he had been a NY Yankee would he have looked better to her. “Oh, you might know me, I was at a little thing called the World Series.” You mean that world series that only the US and Canada can participate in? The World Series that is simply a televised event featuring a bunch of dudes playing a game better than anyone else?
I would love to see a video with the reverse of her date happening.
Picture it: A New York Yankee meets a girl on a date. He tells her what he does and she immediately starts pulling out magic cards. She deals several lightning damage, raises undead, claims him defeated and then walks out of the restaurant. End Scene.
August 31st, 2011 - 11:24
Lisa, I smell a fantastic sketch script right here. It smells like humor. And cheese.
August 31st, 2011 - 10:30
You know, I saw the explosion among the “nerd” community on this and I didn’t read it at all. What amazes me is that it went up on Gizmodo? It doesn’t seem like an article that would interest or inform their audience. It’s almost like they put it up specifically to get this reaction, that they knew this article would bring them hits from the rage it would cause and that they are trying to hang this woman out to dry for her ignorance and small mindedness. Tricksy hobbitses…
August 31st, 2011 - 11:39
Yeah like Forbes said, it’s ‘nerd-baiting’. Unfortunately it worked :(
Soul successfully sold for internet moniez
August 31st, 2011 - 11:15
Have you seen the original article? it is even worse
[Editor's Note: Yes, but I'm trying not to link to it here since it already has more page views than it ever deserved]
August 31st, 2011 - 11:42
Wow, after that terribly written piece, I bet no Magic: The Gathering player will ever be willing to Tap her.
http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot
August 31st, 2011 - 12:05
I linked to it because that one also had the views of the australian Gizmodo inserted as a editor’s note, that she herself is the equivelent of an online predator
August 31st, 2011 - 13:43
swiss cheese consistency on Kotaku
explain please
August 31st, 2011 - 14:30
Here’s a question, why does no one filter these damn stories? And seriously, is Gawker trying to piss off the nerds again and get the website hacked….AGAIN?! I don’t want to have to reset my passwords for everything.
Also, its telling when you bring the wrath of Lisa on you. Im surprised you even wasted finger energy typing that could be used for much more productive things. Shes a troll. She looks like a troll, speaks like a troll, hell shes an intern troll. Shes interning to be the trolliest troll of trolling trolls. Troll.
August 31st, 2011 - 15:08
Speaking of leaving things off you online profile. I wounder if he would have would have gone out with her if she and been on honest on hers. Namely if she had posted “Conceited pseudo journalist with little or no moral fiber seeks same.”
August 31st, 2011 - 18:29
*LIKE*
August 31st, 2011 - 15:38
What’s really surprising here is that this was on Gizmodo and not say, Jezebel. This sounds like the kind of article that would wind up on Jezebel. ^^
What I don’t understand is why he decided to bring that up on a first date. I’m not really sure that’s first date material. I’m looking forward to playing Gears 3, but if there’s a chance I’m gonna be able to sleep with someone after meeting them I’m gonna shut the hell up about it.
August 31st, 2011 - 18:53
The difference is though, are you a professional Gears player? Is it your main passion of the last few decades, and do you have a Gears character in your image? :)
August 31st, 2011 - 21:20
Well, no. But too be fair, I don’t think anyone could have a Gears character in their image. You know, the muscles and stuff. And even then, if they did I don’t think that’d be too much of a negative :P
September 4th, 2011 - 17:34
You’re missing the point :) Finkel has his own Magic Card (it’s pictured above), he’s regarded by many players as the equivalent of SlayerS_Boxer in the realm of competitive Starcraft–that original, highly talented player.
In other words, it’s his profession. He should absolutely mention it on a first date. It’s not just a little hobby he does in his free time–it is a huge part of his life.
August 31st, 2011 - 17:13
I’m still trying to decipher one of the bits of the excerpt here. She says “this is what happens when you leave things out of your online profile.” Who left something out? Is she blaming him for not including “magic: the gathering” in his “I’m really good at” box? or is she taking the blame (as she damn well should be) for not putting “publicly ridiculing decent people with hobbies i don’t understand but perceive as nerdy” in her “What I’m doing with my life” box?
August 31st, 2011 - 18:29
Wow. What a “special” date Jon had. That is completely ridiculous. To give her blog any respect for posting such hateful tripe is disgusting.
After attending WotC’s PAX Prime party, I have a new found respect for MTG players. They are just passionate about what they do. It’s no more bizarre than anything else geeks are known to love. Hell, I have a deck of Elves just waiting for someone with patience to teach me how to play correctly…
Is it possible I could punch that chick in her face? >_
August 31st, 2011 - 18:44
We should do a sketch about this situation – I’ll play Alyssa and you can punch me in the face. I’D LET YOU PUNCH ME IN THE FACE FOR COMEDY. It’s how much I love you.
August 31st, 2011 - 19:19
She won’t even let ME punch her in the face for comedy. Feel special.
August 31st, 2011 - 18:47
Oh man. Of all the people for her to write about, of ALL the MTG players out there for her to humiliate, it had to be JON MOTHERF***ING FINKEL??
It’s over. She’s done. Nothing she writes will ever be accepted by the community again.
September 1st, 2011 - 01:17
Until there’s a parody of the date, its not over.
The bitch will still be on gizmodo, playing kiss ass and saying sorry to all the nerds.
All BUT one… \/_\/
September 1st, 2011 - 07:40
That is some high school type shit right there
September 1st, 2011 - 13:34
“[Jon Finkel] currently works as a managing partner at the hedge fund Landscape Capital Management.” -Wikipedia
She turned down a high-ranking financier because of a hobby that’s brought in an extra third of a million USD for him on the side. That doesn’t even make sense from a nerd-hating perspective. Lots of people have jobs their partners don’t find interesting, after all.
September 1st, 2011 - 21:43
Disgusting! Horrifying! Makes me want to run around screaming until I fall off a bridge! Lisa, you use a Mac? Unacceptable!
In all seriousness, this is why I hate dating more than pretty much anything. Everyone says “it’s what’s inside that really counts” except for this short list of caveats. This article right here is pretty much my experience during 4yrs of an undergrad physics major. You talk to a girl, everything seems to be going okay, then she asks “so what’s your major?” “Physics, with a minor in math. Of course, the mandatory courses for physics kind of give you the math minor whether you want it or not.” “I have to go over there now.”
It’s because I have a shitty personality. Really it is.
September 7th, 2011 - 06:07
Hey,
I wanted to post pertaining to this. I really agree. Thats really it – thanks for posting. Good stuff.
September 12th, 2011 - 01:38
I’ll be honest Lisa, if you wrote an article on cheese consistency I’d totally read it. Chances are it’d be hilarious.
September 13th, 2011 - 19:08
Thanks Lisa! I couldn’t agree more!
It’s ignorant fools like her who make me tell whatever lady is reading my OKCupid profile that I love reading DC Comics, I watch Star Trek:TNG and old school Twilight Zone almost daily, and I love to game. That way there are no surprises about who I am! :)
It’s a pity that people feel the need to hide this sort of stuff. So I will start by jumping out of the nerd closet with my Green Lantern shirt and ring on!
September 16th, 2011 - 18:40
Yes, she may have sounded spiteful, but her 3 strikes are valid reasons for not wanting to start a relationship with this guy.
Strike 1: I’m not going to relate to this guy.
Strike 2: I’m probably going to be 2nd in his life
Strike 3: I’m probably going to have to constantly fight with his friends for his attention.
I know that we all want to rage on this girl for being a meanie and not giving the guy a chance, but lets not turn into monsters ourselves. It may seem all fun and games(heh), but there is a hidden darkness behind this medium that we should keep in mind that makes some people go “Ew, ick!” when having a relationship with a gamer. So it’s important, as a gamer, to be sensitive to these issues. Then maybe, with thought and patience, some people won’t be as turned off or feel uninvited to our gaming culture.
http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/misc/22786_To_My_Someday_Daughter.html
http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/game-addiction-pt.2
September 16th, 2011 - 20:02
That’s not the point being argued here. I don’t want someone to date a gamer who hates gamers, I don’t want them to be miserable in a relationship.
Her fault was not that she SHOULD HAVE dated a MTG player even though she didn’t like MTG, the point was that she posted about their private experience on the Internet (in a major outlet, read by hundreds of thousands) in a terribly negative way without first asking Jon’s permission.
Again, we’re not raging on her for “not giving the guy a chance.” We’re raging on her because she raged on HIM for no valid reason and in a setting that was extremely unprofessional and disrespectful – a journalist should know better.
March 25th, 2012 - 11:49
You are my idol. Thank you so much for posting this article. That girl was a complete bitch. She can go die. Fucking bitch.
August 27th, 2012 - 08:26
I find this ‘Woman’ very sad. Im shocked that she is called a ‘writer’. I could voice my hate at her as a person, but like you stated that would be hating for no reason. The world is a harsh place, so is the net, everybody has an opinion and can voice it, thats a fact of life. Just like she judged this man on his love for magic, so people will judged her and everything she will ever be on this one blog.
… something tells me that nobody will be loosing sleep then she ‘moves to the graveyard’ at the end of her turn.